A few days ago our dear friend, Gloria, and her kids took the boys for a day at the pool, which meant a day for Chris and I to just chill. We quickly decided to take Annie with us and head to the mall for a little shopping. What an adventure that turned out to be. I am so thankful I don't get nearly as flustered when things do not go as planned as I did when Max was a baby. I would have lost my mind by now, if the Lord didn't teach me to chill out and just laugh.
So here's how our trip went: First, let me back up and say to the ladies who read this: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER go shopping in hopes of trying anything on two weeks after you deliver a baby. I mean, what in the world was I thinking? Seriously, just stick to buying accessories. OK, so Chris and I are in Express and we are checking out- he is getting a shirt, and I am getting a bag (a very smart purchase-- the bag is a huge accessory--one that you can hold behind you to cover your backside, or in front to cover your stomach. It fit me just perfectly:). As I hand the cashier our purchases, I hear Annie EXPLODE --I mean she blew up (Chris is cradling her in his arms at this time and just gives me the wide-eyed, "did that just come from her?" stare). As I am trying to politely refuse the cashier's "open a store credit card" plea, I notice out of the corner of my eye that poop is literally dripping from Annie onto Chris' toes (and yes, he had on flip flops :) and all over the floor. Chris had no idea - until he took his first step. It was so funny!! You should have seen Chris trying to walk out of the store nonchalantly like he had everything under control, while trying to walk on his heels only and hold Annie as far away from him as his arms would reach. It was hilarious..... I was crying from laughing so hard :) We cleaned Annie (and the floor) up and promised each other that we were going to forget the whole "3 second rule" for food that drops on the floor in a public place with Max and Jack. We figured we are probably not the only parents whose kid's bodily waste has dripped on the floor.
Our next stop was Gap. As we were in the dressing room, The PA systems comes on and announces very calmly, "There has been a imposing threat to the mall, please proceed as quickly as possible and in an orderly fashion to your nearest exit." Chris looks at me and says, "We gotta go, it could be a bomb." You have got to be kidding me -- I just actually tried on a shirt and a pair of pants that actually fit and hid my tummy, and now I have to leave them here because we are about to be bombed. Here is our conversation that followed:
Chris: (as I am scrambling to get my own clothes back on): "I would send you with Annie, but since you're not dressed, I am going to take her. Meet me at the car."
ME: "OK, Sure Babe, I will probably die in here; but that's cool, I will take one for the team. Go ahead."
Chris: (as he is grabbing the car keys and the diaper bag) "This could be our last good bye. I love you."
Me: (Laughing and thinking to myself--Man, that was just like Kate and the Titanic dude's final good bye). "I love you too."
As I finished dressing and ran out the dressing room, (with my new shirt and pants, of course. I mean, if the place is about to be bombed, they will probably just let me take them, right? At least I will own something that fits that Chris could bury me in.) I quickly noticed that everyone seemed way to calm to be thinking danger was imminent. I ran straight to the cashier and asked where the nearest exit was located and if she could hold my clothes until the threat was cleared. She bursts out laughing and says, "Oh, Mam, that was just a drill. There is no real threat."
WHAT? JUST A DRILL? In the mall, full of people- you are going to announce over the PA to evacuate, and never come back on to tell us it is just a drill? Who does that? Explain this to me, please. Isn't that like saying Hijack on an airplane?
OK well, at least Chris and I will get another chance at our final good bye. We laughed later about how pathetic it was. Maybe I will get a Titanic type good bye (Not the freezing and drowning, just the romance part) after all.
How crazy is that for our first outing together with Annie? All in all, we had a great time and laughed really hard. Thank you, Gloria, for taking the boys for the day. We love you and are so thankful to know that our boys are safe and having a blast when they are with you guys. It was a much needed break and I thank the Lord for the down time with Chris-- poop and bomb threats in all.