Friday, July 4, 2008

Willing to Sink

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

One of the hardest lessons the Lord has taught me (and is still teaching me!) as a wife is that sometimes the most empowering thing I can do for my husband is to be willing to sink. For so long in the early years of our marriage, I lived with the attitude of, "I know we are on this boat together, Babe, but if you do anything to make us start sinking, I am jumping ship." By jumping ship, I didn't mean leaving him; but I did mean, "I will never let this go - you will hear about it over and over. Others will know it was you who made this decision and that I told you so before you did it." By questioning his every decision and by never letting him live down any decision I thought was wrong, I literally handicapped my husband into being afraid to live out his faith and walk in his anointing as the leader of our home.

I remember when just recently Chris told me that he knew the Lord was calling us to ministry in Florida. You know what I did? I immediately went to the Lord and asked for my own personal confirmation from Him that this was true. "Please, Father, tell me that this is where you want us." My attitude in asking the Lord this was not one of faith, but one of, "Surely if this were true, God would have told me." The Lord told me alright. He told me something my arrogant self needed to get straightened out. I really sensed the Lord saying in my spirit, "Holly, when are you going to trust Chris' faith in me? When, Holly, are you going to realize that your husband is a man of God, that he loves Me with his whole heart, and that I speak to him daily too--not just you. You are keeping him from reaching his God potential, because you refuse to trust in his relationship with me. By doing this, Holly, you are missing part of what I created you to do-- to be his helper and help him become all I he can be in Me. You are blowing it for the both of you." OUCH. It was so true. It was a pretty humbling moment in the Lord's presence that day for me.

Please don't misunderstand, I am not at all saying that to seek out your own confirmation from the Lord when you are following a decision your husband has made for your family is a bad thing, nor am I saying that to warn your husbands of a possible impending disaster that you see forthcoming from a decision he is about to make is wrong (believe me-- Chris hears his share of warnings :). But what I am saying is the Lord has taught me that sometimes best thing I can do for my man is to just shut up and let him know that I believe in his relationship with the Lord--so much so that I am willing to walk by faith and do what Chris says the Lord has called us to do. I truly believe that we can fuel our husbands with the confidence needed to walk in their anointing and to live out a radical faith if they know that sink or swim, you are doing it with him. There will be no, "You should have done things this way", or "I told you that would never work", no silent treatments, no, "I am embarrassed by the decisions you make"-- just acceptance and appreciation for his desire to step up and lead our family as God has called him to do.

So, Chris, here's to you. Thank you for your passion for God and for being willing to jump when God says, " jump." I trust your faith in Him-- so much now that I am willing to risk it all-- even if it means we sink. I love you.


Anonymous said...

Holly - I just found this and I've read them all. It's so awesome, I love it. Keep typing! ;-)

Tiffany said...

Great post!
I have been thinking about have already delivered your sweet baby by now. Hope all is well!!!