Monday, June 16, 2008

Lessons from DAD

In honor of Father's day yesterday, I was going write a post on the top things I miss about my dad. Since it would take you a day to read, and Chris already tells me my posts are way too long, I have decided to randomly post over the next few weeks different things my dad taught me. Most of these things are not earth shattering, just simple principles I learned firsthand by the way my dad lived his life.

Lesson #1 from DAD: Say yes to your kids when you can.

I have a dear friend who once told me, We have to tell our kids no so much, that we need to seize the opportunities to say yes whenever possible. I quickly realized that my friend put into words what my dad lived. My dad was the best at this. Why not pick up ice cream on the way home from the ball game? Why not let you where your princess pj's to the grocery store? Why not race you to the car? Why not sign you out of class a little early for your dentist appointment so we can go to lunch together?

My dad was not a push over, and he definitely could say no when he needed to (except maybe not to Katie- she always did have him wrapped!!), but he also knew what was important. Good times with his family always trumped the "We have it all together- we eat the perfect things, we look perfect, and we act appropriate at all times" act that many of us as parents get caught up in. Because my dad said yes when he could, I have so many genuinely fun memories of times spent with him--times laughing, being silly, eating foods we knew mom would kill us--good times.

Now as a mom, I do my very best to weigh each one of my children's request through the lens of, "Can I say yes to this one?" Will it really hurt if he wears socks with those horrible spiderman sandals Aunt Melanie graciously gave my child (because she would never let one of her boys wear them :)? Will it really hurt if we occasionally enjoy an icee at Target right before dinner?
Moms, I challenge you to relax and seize the opportunities when we can say yes to our children. Not only will you be creating some great memories for your children, but I bet it will make life more enjoyable for everyone--including you.


Melanie said...

I miss him so much! I always knew that he loved us more than anything and nothing he ever did made me doubt it. Good reminder, Holly. Oh, and I have a pair of light up Bob the Builder shoes for Jack that I know he'll love.

Anonymous said...

I wish you would say yes to me occasionally :) Chris

Kristin said...

How sweet!

And just FYI, I don't think your posts are too long :)

Carissa said...

i was just thinkng about saying yes more this morning. i told cayden no so many times yesterday and in hindsight i could have said yes to it wouldn't have hurt anything. your dad was a wise man, i'm going to work on saying yes more and living in the moments of my 4 year old.

Anonymous said...

yes - the posts are too long!Signed, hairy legs

Holly said...

melanie-- keep the shoes or else i am sending the spiderman sandals back to eli for his birthday present!!

kristen-- thanks for the encouragement. i will pass your not to mr. hairy legs!!

carissa-- so gald to hear from you! how have you been. i love the days when i just decide to enjoy life with my toddlers and actually stick to it. let me know how it goes.